Love bites

I thought I was going to have a hard time writing this week's article because my own love life had taken a turn for the worse. But things do work out, and I feel that my own personal experience in the past 2 weeks is worthy enough to put out for everyone to read. Names will be changed to protect the…innocent.

I had gotten it into my head to get back together with my ex, although that is a practice that I do not agree with normally. After all, people break up for a reason, and unless there has been some life-altering event, the reason remains. My ex (we'll call him Tom) and I thought that a friend of mine should meet a friend of his. I thought it would be fun because I was still not completely comfortable around Tom, and hanging out in a group would be welcome. So Tom introduced my friend Kim and I to Rob. Rob immediately fell for Kim, because men often do. Kim, having just gotten out of a relationship, did not care for Rob all that much. On their first date, I came along and Rob and I did most of the talking. I found him funny and slightly cute in his dorkiness, but I had no interest in him or any man. I suppose I should back up here and say that after my previous bad relationships, I had no true interest in becoming emotionally attached to any man ever again. Yes, I wanted to get back together with Tom, but not because of feelings, which actually was a very stupid thing to try to do.

Rob and Kim rarely, if ever, talked one on one and each time they went out, I was brought along, or we'd stop at Tom's apartment. Then one day, very quickly, Rob decided to tell Kim he loved her. This was the wrong thing to do. After that, Kim had almost no interest in Rob whatsoever, and I was the one to talk to him and go out with him. We went to clubs and to play pool and to dinner. We even sat on the phone one night for five hours and talked. But yet, I still had no interest in him. All that changed this past Sunday night.

We all gathered at Tom's apartment again after picking Kim up from the airport. Kim was upset because she had just left someone that she cares deeply for. Rob was slightly upset because she basically just laid it out on the table that she loves another. It struck me like a rock when I saw him upset over this. I discovered that feelings come when you least expect them to. I knew I wanted him for myself, and I was unsure of what to do. Tom saw it and took Rob outside to talk, while Kim and I talked inside. I tried to make myself clear, and although I wasn't making any sense, she understood. Tom and Rob came back and Rob told me it was time for us to take a walk.

That night, under the stars, I let a man really know how I felt for the first time in over 2 years. I cried, and I do not usually cry in front of anyone. He held me and told me that he just needed a couple of days. Just a couple of days to get over Kim, and then it would all be okay. I asked him if he'd come back to me, and he looked into my eyes and nodded. For the first time in well over 2 years, I believed a man.

The next night, I was selfish. I called him and asked if he would come to Tom's apartment, because Kim and I were there and we were going to watch a movie. I knew he needed a couple of days, but I couldn't give him that as I had promised I would. I missed him too much. He came over, and a few too many drinks later, everyone was upset and crying and yelling over things. Kim kept yelling that he couldn't possibly be in love with her, because he didn't know her, and even if he did, he wouldn't want her. Tom and Kim both told him how stupid he'd be if he let me go. I didn't say anything until Tom and Kim left the apartment and Rob and I could be alone.

I told him I was sorry for being selfish and wanting to see him when I knew he wanted a couple of days to just NOT see Kim. He asked me what it was I saw in him. I told him I loved his personality, his sense of humor, his intelligence, his caring and generous ways. And I told him that if he needed to leave me, I was strong enough to let him go. He told me I wasn't, and that I needed to stop saying that. Tom and Kim came back, then the three of us left the apartment. I was in tears and had a very bad night.

The next evening, we found ourselves back at Tom's. Tom called Rob and we all went to dinner together. It was nice, and nothing was really spoken about the previous evening except that all three of them had hangovers. (I didn't drink the night before.) We went back to Tom's apartment and Rob and I hung out alone in the bedroom and talked things over. He told me his "attachment" to Kim was over. I was so happy! I asked him if he could walk away from me. He wouldn't answer in words, but the look in his eyes was enough.

So, Love Fans, there you have it. Even the Love Expert can have problems in her own life. In fact, as happy as I am being with Rob, I'm scared to death of the feelings that I have. I care about him, and he cares for me, so I suppose that will be enough for now. Love has a way of finding you, even when try to shut it out. It happened for me, and it will happen for all of you.

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