Goat horns smell bad

Today's article addresses the topic of being stuck in a Loser Lovin' rut. We've all been there before, and may even be there now. Suddenly we are attracting the biggest losers, social rejects, and mental midgets within a 200 mile radius. And what's worse? We're actually DATING these people! We think of only their good points, such as:

They are always there when we need them. (Of course they are, because they have no life and sometimes no job.)
They listen to what we have to say. (Well, they can't exactly offer advice because their lil brains can't think that much.)
They need us. (Yeah, for money, transportation, food…)

The list could go on and on, but I'll stop there. Now you're probably thinking "Oh Our Mother of Losers, how do I get out of this mess?" The thing is, first you have to see that you're in this spot. Then… BITE BACK! See that guy over there examining your remote control and scratching himself? See that girl wandering aimlessly around your house picking up objects and telling you that there's no way this is going in your house when you are married? Ask yourself if they pass the "Porch Swing Test." Can you see yourself in 30 years, old and gray and wrinkled, sitting on a porch swing with them, talking about the weather? No? THEN THROW THEM OUT! You can and will find better. Start looking around for people that AREN'T your type. Then ask yourself what your type really is, and set out to find that person. Remember…YOU ARE SPECIAL. Reach for the moon, because at least if you fail, you'll end up in the stars and sometimes, that's even better. Good luck!!

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