Goat horns smell bad

When it comes to love and relationships, the one thing that is usually on the back (or right in front) of peoples’ minds is sex. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, sex. Taboo in some cultures, socially acceptable to be open about in others, it’s one of the most primitive practices we have as humans.

Let’s be technical for a moment. Intercourse is defined as the coming together of human genitalia. A man inserts his penis into a woman’s vagina, thrusts until he ejaculates his semen (a thick secretion, a mixture of mucus and spermatozoa). With luck, the woman’s clitoris has been stimulated enough to bring her to orgasm, a series of small contractions in the uterus, vagina, and/or rectum, followed by a feeling of relaxation.

Well sign me up!

Truthfully, sex is different for everyone. It can bring people closer, it can tear them apart, it can produce babies, and it can transmit diseases. If you have to ask yourself if you are ready to have sex, then in my opinion, you aren’t. I waited until I was 23 to have sex for the first time. Each boyfriend I had, starting when I was about 15, seemed to always ask me “When will we do it?” That’s not a question that should be asked. My first time, although not the cheesy romantic scene you see in movies, was perfectly wonderful for me. My boyfriend was easy on me, and let me control what was going on. I was lucky.

I need to back up for a minute. There are different kinds of sex, and I considered myself a “technical” virgin because I had already participated in everything EXCEPT intercourse. I am a great believer in oral sex, both giving and receiving. Some women refuse to “go down” on their boyfriends, and that really strikes me as a shame. Ladies, it’s not yucky. Ok…maybe it is at first. But it’s yucky for men too when they choose to go downtown on us! Think about it…You are putting your mouth on something someone pees out of! EWWWWW! Well, suck it up! It’s your partner, at their most vulnerable. Men, you’re getting a chance to be close to your girlfriend/wife in a way that no one else gets to. Ladies, same deal. These men are putting their most prized possession (besides you and their car, of course) in your mouth…your mouth with teeth. If it is a bit stinky down there, and believe me I’ve been with a man who had SWS (Stinky Wiener Syndrome), just make bathing beforehand a fun thing. Oh, and ladies? They DO like it when you’re able to swallow. According to a friend of mine, it’s a turn on, just like watching a woman get off is.

And that brings me to something else. Masturbation. I think there isn’t a person over 15 that hasn’t at least TRIED it. When I was 18, I had my first really close guy friends, and that was a BIG subject with them. Five years later, it’s a big subject with my chat friends. I’m a great believer in masturbation, too. Like a lot of women, I had been having a hard time coming to orgasm. Let’s face it, men can do it easily in most cases. But for women…it’s something totally different. So, my boyfriend gave me one of the best gifts ever. A vibrator. Not a dildo, but a small egg-shaped vibrator that was to be placed on the clitoris. Women need clitoral stimulation. Why do you men think we get off on oral sex easily? It’s all about the clit! After playing with my little egg for a while, I found that I could reach my climax easier, and I actually knew when it was going to happen. There’s nothing wrong with “self-love.” It can help later.

Intercourse. The “real” sex. It’s sweaty and messy and it gets you hot and there’s really nothing absolutely graceful about it. It’s beautiful. The joining of two bodies. The meshing of souls. Ok, maybe not. But it can be fun with the right person. I love sex. I’ll tell anyone that asks that I love to have sex with my boyfriend. It gives me a thrill that I’ve only had when I was on stage performing. It makes me feel closer to my boyfriend each time we do it. There are tons of positions and acrobatics that can be done when having sex, but my favorite is the stable missionary woman-on-bottom position. I like for him to control it. Kama Sutra be damned, missionary will always be my fave. But I think that a lot of men get frustrated because their girlfriend/wife doesn’t always orgasm. Trust me, men, some women don’t need to orgasm each time. In fact, I get my kicks making my boyfriend come. Oh sure, climaxing is great! There’s nothing like it. But honestly, and this is something my guy either doesn’t know or doesn’t understand, I just need the closeness of sex. It’s wonderful. I’d warrant a guess that a lot of women feel that way. We just need to be close and have fun.

Now…let’s be safe about this. Condoms are number one on my list of things you MUST have for sex, especially with a new partner. Unless you are sure that person is clean and not sleeping with anyone else, use a condom. Aside from birth control, they’re by far the best barrier against sexually transmitted diseases. There will come a time, when you’re in a long-term relationship, that you won’t want to use one anymore. But make sure that you really are in a monogamous relationship, and that you’re willing to face anything that comes along later. Coitus Interruptus (pulling out) isn’t a foolproof method of birth control, and it’s kinda frustrating for both parties, but it’s better than nothing. Of course, the safest sex is no sex.

There’s a ton more that could be said on sex. But why talk? Go out and have fun!

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