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  Hosted by Mel

I was (again) having problems coming up with this month's article. I tried to find something in my own love life to talk about, but things are just going well and I couldn't even pick a fight to have something to talk about. But, as I started talking to a friend about love, I found that what he's going through right now is something I went through not so very long ago.

When I was younger, I fell in love with my best guy friend in the world. It didn't matter that I had other boyfriends, other dates, this guy was just the end all for me. Everything about him was perfect, and I knew that even if we never got together, he had set the standard by which I'd judge all other men against. We had the typical Dawson & Joey thing going. He'd date other people, or I would, but still we were always drawn to each other. As we grew up, we got a job together, took a class in college together, still went to movies and out to eat, but there was never anything romantic about our actions and the timing was always off. He was too "busy" to date, I was in the middle of one crisis or another, and it was just never possible to get together. But I never stopped thinking about him, and was sure that he'd be the one I'd grow old with.

Then came along my current boyfriend. He actually measured up to the standards my friend had put out! He is incredibly smart, funny, good looking… Or could it be that I stopped judging men by the love of my teenage life?

I think we all have the picture of the "perfect" man or woman in our heads. The one that we try to find. The man with the six figure salary job and ripped abs. The woman who not only is a perfect lover, but bakes a mean turkey dinner. And when we have an actual person in front of us who we believe embodies all these characteristics, but we cannot have him/her, it makes for finding real love almost impossible. Also, by putting our "perfect" person on a pedestal, we forget that they are just real people, with the same faults we all have.

When I met my now boyfriend, I didn't judge him against my "perfect" guy. I accepted him as he was. In fact, upon our first meeting, I knew something was going to happen between us. Because I was able to let go of my teenage idea of perfection, I was able to open my heart up to the man I love.

Let go of the list you judge people by. I'm not saying date someone you think is a creep, but don't be bound in by a blueprint of perfection. Sometimes the one you never thought would be your "type" ends up being the love of your life.

 

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