What You See is What You Get...Right?

Loser Lovin' Ruts

"I Don't Love You Unless You Don't Love Me"

On the Look-Out?

The Art of Dating

Relationships

I Love You

Body Oriented?

Breaking Up

Emily, Tim and Mark

Emily, Tim and Mark Revisited

Little Things

Cheating

Sex

Jealousy

Untitled

Co-dependency

Weddings

Back to this months feature

free wedding planning software

Goin’ to the chapel, and I’m gonna get married…. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I head to the chapel this month. Oh not for myself. I’ve been invited to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of two of my dearest friends. This is the first time I’m going to be in a wedding, so I thought it would be fun to write about, you guessed it, weddings!

Boy meets girl. Girl decides boy is pretty ok. Boy buys girl a ring. Girl spends the next 6 months to a year planning her perfect wedding. Boy goes about his daily life. Girl spends 12 hours before the wedding getting ready. Boy plays basketball up until 30 minutes before the ceremony. And so they begin their lives together. But have you ever wondered where all this started? Why weddings are surrounded in tradition? Well, let’s see…

Back in the early days, brides were usually kidnapped by their grooms. Women had very little to say about anything back then, although sometimes the woman actually agreed beforehand to be “kidnapped.” I think this is where elopement comes from. The groom would have his buddies to help him, and they were known as “bridesmen” or “bridesknights.” She would also have women to help her get ready (because there are just some things a man shouldn’t see!) and so we got our “bridesmaids.” The groom would pick his best, and probably strongest, friend to help fight off any other men who wanted his woman. This guy is what we now know to be the “best man.” If the groom needed to fight off other suitors who also wanted his bride, he would hold onto her with his left hand, while fighting them off with his sword in his right hand, which is why the bride stands on the left, and the groom on the right. Some also believe that a vein in your left arm connects directly to your heart, and by holding on to her groom’s left hand, the bride was “connecting” herself to his heart. (This is very romantic, if you think about it.) After the wedding, the honeymoon would take place. Usually, the bride and groom went into hiding so that when her family finally found her, she would already be pregnant.

Although marriage by abduction was very common back then, marriage by purchase was preferred. The bride was usually exchanged for land, political alliance, social status and/or cold hard cash. The Anglo-Saxon word "wedd" meant the groom would vow to marry the woman - and that the bartered goods and/or money would go directly to the bride’s father. So really, if you were a young girl back then, your daddy pretty much sold you like he would have sold a cow or a horse. You were just for breeding purposes. Luckily, that practice isn’t common today.

Also, there were arranged marriages. In these marriages, the groom very rarely had ever seen his bride before. This is why we have the wedding veil. If the groom had seen what he was getting into, he may not have agreed to the marriage. It wasn’t until after the ceremony that the veil was lifted, and the luckless (or lucky) guy got to see the face of the woman he was spending the rest of his life with. Today’s veils are much thinner than the veils of yesterday, and are merely for show. We hope.

The medieval Italians were the first to give diamond engagements rings to their soon to be wives. They believed that the diamond was made from the “flames of love.” I guess the bigger the rock, the bigger the flame. The first wedding bands were probably made of a very hard metal and symbolize the circle of eternity, which should remain unbroken. They are worn on the third finger of the left hand because, again, there is believed to be a vein that runs from there directly to the heart.

The bridal shower started with the purpose to strengthen friendships between the bride and her friends. The bride’s friends would give her moral support and help her prepare for her new marriage. It wasn’t until the early 1890’s that the idea of giving gifts came about. At one shower, the bride’s friend placed small gifts inside a parasol and opened it over the bride’s head so that the presents would "shower" over her. Of course, this seemed so fashionable to do, women everyone took up the practice. The men, however, hold stag parties, or bachelor parties. The ancient Spartan warriors were the first recorded to start this. At the party, the groom would have a grand time with his friends and promises were made that they would always be friends.

We’ve often heard that a woman who isn’t “pure” shouldn’t wear a white wedding dress. Wrong! White never symbolized purity. Anne of Brittany started the white wedding dress fashion back in 1499. White isn’t a symbol of chastity, it’s a symbol of joy. Both the bride and the groom used to wear blue bands at the wedding, because blue symbolized purity. This is also where the giving of “something blue” came about.

And what wedding would be complete without fertility symbols, like the wedding cake? Ancient Romans baked cakes made out of wheat or barley and broke it over the bride’s head as a symbol of her fertility. What this helped with her fertility, it’s still unclear. Over time, it became traditional to stack several cakes atop one another, as tall as possible. The bride and groom would then be charged to kiss over this tower without knocking it over. If they were successful, a lifetime of good fortune was certain for the new couple. Finally, during the reign of King Charles II of England, it became customary for cake to be a palatable palace iced with sugar.

In modern times, brides and grooms have chosen to write their own wedding vows. Many people today don’t want to be tied down with the words written by someone years ago. I think most women just want that “obey” part thrown out. They want their vows personal, something to show their exact feelings. There are also many types of ceremonies, but the one I thought was the sweetest is known as the “Rose Ceremony.” In the Rose Ceremony, the bride and groom give each other a rose. The Rose Ceremony is placed at the end of the ceremony just before being pronounced husband and wife. In the old language of flowers, a single red rose always meant, "I love you". The bride and groom promise that no matter where they live, they will select a spot for a rose bush to grow, and on each anniversary they will take a rose to that spot to renew their love for each other. Also, when times get bad, or fights break out, one person is to leave a single rose for the other to see, just to prove that the love is still there, even when words cannot be spoken.

There is so much more that could be said, but I don’t need to say it. Weddings are sacred, are beautiful, and I cannot wait to be a part of this one. Check out these links and I hope everyone will one day have a beautiful wedding with someone they truly love. Special Note: Pupps McGee and One Armed Man (Vicky and Jason) I love you both so much. Thank you for letting me be a part of your celebration. I wish you both the absolute best in life.

www.theknot.com www.ultimatewedding.com www.weddinglinksgalore.com www.weddingchannel.com www.weddingnetwork.com

Message Board

Poetry Collections

Submit yours to empire_editor

April

Voya

Mel

JJ Wildcat

Perfectly Devestated

Jondee

Fishandjohnny

Your
Comments