Hosted by Lil Red Fukkin Hood

Picking up is fun, I suppose everyone will agree with that. Picking up is also a civil duty as it may end up with a kid to keep the country going. One of the interesting ways of picking up in XX century was using either a cool look or the famous line “Wanna come over and listen to my records?”

I think it all began on Jun 5th 1956 when Elvis Presley performed “Hound Dog” on The Milton Berle Show. It wasn’t his first or the best performance but Elvis made very suggestive moves, which made the female fans get into hysteria state and which gave Elvis his famous Elvis The Pelvis nickname. The Beatles were definitely the best at group picking up, after all they were one of the first boybands and although they looked pretty innocent they also caused mass hysteria. To pick up the girl Elvis- or The Beatles-style (or the real macho style) you need hair gel, chains, half unbuttoned shirt showing hairy chest, and last but not least tight pants (especially in genital area).

The next era also belonged to The Beatles but this time “Love Love Me Do” was over and everyone started singing “Strawberry Fields Forever”. Hippie style gave up on macho accessories, as the violence was a big no-no, and political discussions, not fully understood phrases from academic books quoted after taking some LSD or smoking a joint were a real chick magnet. Thanks to hippie style men started looking like women and women started looking like Native Americans, and actually everyone had long hair, colorful vests, bell-bottoms or flares, and of course tye-died shirts. Flower power was blooming. Trying to pick up hippie style you not only have to look like a hippie but also you need some knowledge. It’s worth knowing that Timothy Leary took magic mushrooms first time on Aug 9th 1960, in December that same year the birth control pill became available, a year ago JFK advised to build some atomic bomb shelters, since Aug1965 you couldn’t burn the draft cards, and the Summer Of Love took place in San Francisco in 1967. Thanks to the music of Jimi Hendrix, Jefferson Airplane, late The Beatles or The Doors the sexual intercourse also become longer as LPs became popular and you could take your time instead of rushing cause “it’s time to change the one-song-record”.

It’s hard to say how glam had started. Its fathers are definitely David Bowie and Mark Bolan from T.Rex. David Bowie is the biggest chameleon of mass pop culture of the century. He started as a red haired, big teethed bard, then changed into a woman, a spider, new waver who wasn’t afraid of experiments, macho cutie, rock star, industrial freak, and recently in an old Indian woman. Mark Bolan the space dancer didn’t have the chance to change so much as he died in a car crash in 1977. He is remembered as some kind of android and as “Rocky Horror Show” is still popular maybe the glam method still works.

Actually “reggae” is a term used to describe one of the levels of development of Jamaican music, but in Jamaican there were and still is a lot of kinds of music. Reggae became popular thanks to Jamaican immigrants invading UK and USA, their kids and followers. But according to many people the real reggea can be found only in Jamaica. Opposite to popular beliefs reggae is not the music about happy dances on the beach under the palm trees, it’s the music of fight. Jamaicans love peace but if you try messing with them they can make you cry very fast. The basic equipment of rastaman are dreadlocks, red-yellow-green hat big enough to carry not only dreads but also a weekly supply of marijuana. The most famous rasta was of course Bob Marley, and his example shows that picking up rasta style is very efficient as not only did he marry a former Miss Jamaica but also he had about 20 (though some people say it was closer to 40) kids.

When Ozzy Osbourne started biting off the pigeons’ head on the stage no one suspected that the new subculture is being born. Hard rock, called Heavy Metal later, is I think the strangest subculture ever. Except for a few different style of music that developed later at the end of 80s it didn’t create anything intellectual, it was neither negation nor affirmation, it was pure hedonism. Apart from comics devils, monsters, intergalactic wizards and skeletons, which were a must the hard rock created a bunch of people with long hair that was washed and brushed frequently, faded jeans, love for open spaces and Harley Davidson, cult for the guitar, bracelets and pendants. Fathers of this style were Black Sabbath, Deep Purple and Led Zeppelin. Also more people started celebrating Halloween. All year long.

The rest of music styles and how to use them to pick up girls next month, till then stay safe, if anyone has any comments or found anything s/he disagrees with, please feel free to use the forum board. Thank you.

*this article was inspired by rock star caricatures, encyclopedia of rock n'roll, hillarious series "rock through 20th century" by Polish magazine "Machina", and my valentine mood*